As the Olympics conclude I have realized I was wrong about a few things in my last post. You see I thought the people of the most wonderful country on Earth, America, were acting like a bunch of jerks with the way we were emphasizing the desire to defeat the world instead of being magnanimous in victory. I thought the entire point of the games was to bring the world together in brotherhood by celebrating the strongest, fastest, and best winter athletes humanity has ever produced. I was wrong.
Evgeni Plushenko earned a silver medal in figure skating. Instead of accepting his award like one of the greatest champions his slightly gay sport has ever known, he cried like a little girl with a skinned knee and claimed the imaginary title of Platinum Medal Winner.
South Koreans complained about being robbed in speed skating when an Australian judge DQed their women's relay team after their dominating performance in the 3000-meter. Americans complained and threatened to invade Canada after a Canadian judge disqualified Apolo Ohno for touching a Canadian competitor on his way to second place, when the same Canadian completely took out a Korean skater and was awarded a bronze medal for his effort. Thee South Korean team also got into a bottle throwing fight with the Chinese team at the Pacific Coliseum when Chinese filmed a Korean practice. While not necessarily against the rules it did seem to show poor sportsmanship.
And then there was the Canadian Women's hockey team's celebration after winning the gold medal. Underage drinking, smoking cigars, and just generally having a good time on the ice could be considered
d all in good fun. However, the media decided it was in poor taste after they released photos. Despite the photographic evidence the Canadian authorities have decided to turn a blind eye to the illegalities that were perpetrated since the team is basically national heroes. What had me a little bothered was that Scotty Lago was kicked out of the olympics when photographs of him being "inappropriate" with his medal even though what he did was not technically illegal. I guess gold is better than bronze in the eyes of the IOC.
What these things have taught me more than anything is that no matter where we come from, no matter what color our skin is, no matter what we believe in, we are all assholes. Loud-mouthed, angry,short-sighted, close-minded, arrogant, nationalistic, assholes. In some weird way, knowing we are all assholes makes me feel closer to all of humanity. And that feels good. So, you Canadian eh-holes, congratulations for putting together a showcase for American domination. Even though your judges showed blatant favoritism towards Canadian athletes and complete disregard towards the Koreans you did good, little bro. You did good! Now get back to work creating decent actors and hockey players who will run for the American border the first chance they get.
0 comments:
Post a Comment