As the Olympics move through their second week I have come to a few shocking (and by shocking I mean “m’eh”) conclusions.
First, as a whole, we Americans are an extremely competitive lot. I am all about giving your all, leaving everything you have on the ice (or slopes or halfpipe, et al.), and representing the stars and stripes with pride and honor. Yet I can not help but wonder if other countries keep track of the medal count as if the country who wins gets some super valuable prize for being the overall champions of the world. Now don’t get me wrong. I think it would be really awesome if the leader of the country with the “win” in the overall medal count became the president of the world until the next Olympics. Since this is not the case, though, maybe we should calm down about worrying who wins the most hardware. I mean the Olympics are supposed to be about fair play, brotherhood, and pushing oneself to the limits of human strength, speed, and endurance. They are supposed to be about humanity coming together to celebrate our very best. When we mock other countries and go out to “defeat the world” it kind of makes us look like douche bags. Come on America, can’t we leave that to the Russians?
Second, why curling? I know that it is a really popular sport (in Canada) but do we need to see 10 hours of it a day? For those of you not paying attention or who do not have cable, NBC has been broadcasting the games of the 21st Winter Olympiad on their family of networks (NBC, USA, MSNBC, and CNBC) since the opening ceremony on February 12. On NBC during primetime they have been showing a lot of the upper echelon sports like Speed Skating, Snowboarding, Figure Skating, and a handful of fast-paced, exciting sports where Americans usually do well. And I cannot really complain about the mix of sports they have shown (though not showing USA vs. Canada Men’s Hockey on NBC seemed to be a rather bizarre programming decision).
However, the sport that has received more coverage than any other during this Olympiad has been Curling. Between MSNBC and CNBC there has been between 6-12 hours of curling on everyday since the games began. Now I like Curling. I have defended it to friends and co-workers over the past week because I know it takes a lot of skill and practice the be able to slide a 42 pound rock down 150 feet of ice and have it stop within inches of where you were aiming through careful and precise broom work. However, I do not think it should be the most televised Olympic sport for one simple reason. It is boring as heck to watch because it is slow, non-exciting, and anyone can do it. I mean J-Rock, CJ, and I are going to start our own curling team if we can find a fourth. What really kills the television audience though is that it is the same thing over and over again for 3 hours. I can handle about 10 minutes and then my head starts to hurt and I need to change the channel. Jeremiah watches for about 7 minutes before having a reaction similar to the one he has when he watches disfigured frogs on Animal Planet. Carl, Jr. watches for about 5 minutes and then begins furiously licking his own eyeballs to clean away the sucktitude. So IOC officials and NBC execs, let’s keep Curling in the games but not show so much of it on TV. Okay? Thanks.
Third, who decided bronze was the third best metal? Gold, I get. Silver, makes since. But bronze? Really? I mean it is nice that we want to make third place finishers feel like they have achieved something (other than choking) but bronze? Why not nickel? Why not aluminum? Or mercury? Or copper? I like bronze but I think we could have made the third place medal a little bit more awesome. Although, to be fair, no matter what choice they made before the 1904 St. Louis games I probably would have still been here talking about how lame and arbitrary the choice of metals for the third place medal is. But I suppose it will never change, so m’eh!
Fourth, it turns out Alexander Ovechkin, much like Charlie White, always really wanted to be an ice dancer. But after his skate partner left him for another he gave it up in a haze of tears for hockey. Sad, but it makes you wonder what could have been.
Fifth, USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
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