I’ve spent a lot of time in waiting rooms this year. First, there was when dad had his heart attack and subsequent bypass surgery. Then there were all the hospital, doctor’s offices, and lab visits when my face decided to stop working and no one knew why. And of course there were the monthly then weekly trips to see the midwives for the whole pregnancy thing. I met a lot of interesting people, had some nice conversations and learned some things.
One of the things I learned is everywhere I go I am surrounded by tOSU fans (maybe I attract them). Another thing I learned is old guys with cities as part of their name are usually kind of gangster (not gangsta… Pittsburgh Mike is hands down the best waiting room friend I’ve made this year). And I learned when people find out you’re an expectant parent you cannot get them to stop giving you advice. Some of it is helpful, some not so much. Taking the advice I have been given and what I have learned in my first couple of weeks of parenthood I have put together a short guide to new fatherhood. For advice on how to become a father check the Valentine’s Blog I wrote almost 5 years ago here.
1) Get plenty of rest especially in the weeks before the due date. It is tempting to try to get the most out of your last few months without the responsibility of parenthood by staying up late and doing all the stupid crap that makes you happy. However, you should get as much sleep as you can while you can. Trust me.
2) Bring snacks. The hospital will provide mom with food for the duration of her stay, but more often than not dad is on his own to find sustenance. A well stocked snack bag will save you a headache.
3) Be there and be supportive of your wife. This entails knowing when to massage her shoulders, knowing when to tell her you love her, knowing when to hold the barf bag for her (most women throw up during labor, mine didn’t but that’s cause she’s a superwoman), and knowing when to shut the hell up.
4) Doctors are dicks who will not warn you that your little bundle of joy’s head will become conical to help it get out of your woman’s body. That being said YOUR BABY’S HEAD WILL LOOK WEIRD in the moments immediately following birth. Your job is to NOT draw attention to this fact. So bite your tongue and be confident in the knowledge your baby’s head will normalize.
5) Don’t take time spent with your baby for granted. I’ve been a dad for two weeks and everyday brings changes and growth in Milo. Children really do grow up quickly.
6) The birth of your first child is an emotional time. A father of 2 I met while sitting in the waiting room for the midwives told me he cried for a solid half an hour after his baby was born (I think he might have felt compelled to tell me this because my left eye still randomly tears up because of the Bell’s Palsy thing). No one is going to think any less of you if you cry or get pale or faint. However, remember you’re supposed to be a man so sack up and act like it.
7) Follow your instincts… unless your instincts are stupid. Check out “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” for some really good advice. It’s an awesome read.
Okay so that covered some of the very basics, the rest you’ll just have to discover on your own. Good luck.
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