Super Powers

I've been debating what I should write about on here. I have many crazy and outlandish thoughts that could fuel a rant or four but I really don't think I want this to be a forum where I let off steam about the stupid things that annoy me. I would much rather this be a happy place where people can come away saying to themselves "gee, I never thought about it like that" or "hey that is an idea I can use to improve my own life."

That being said I could not think about anything positive or uplifting to write, so I figured I would write the official-for-now story of how I became a Real Life Super Hero, since that was what everyone has been asking me about for the past week. Now the official-for-now story differs from the unofficial-for-now story in the fact that after I tell it to you I do not have to kill you to protect the double-plus-ultra-super secret truth behind the matter. Besides I have to save something for "My Extraordinary Life." That's the working title of my autobiography. As soon as I make the roster of a professional sports team and learn the joys of parenthood I'll wrap it up and send it off the the publisher. I imagine it will be so awesome Oprah will come out of retirement to have me on her show so she can tell all of her hundreds of millions of minions and fans to buy my book! Buy my book! BUY MY BOOK!! (Ha Ha! Killinger gets it.)

But I digress. Here it is, the official-for-now story. A couple of years ago I was writing for a website called storyofmylife.com. As part of my job I interviewed several interesting people then wrote "the story of their lives" or at least one story from their life in a neat, tidy readable web post. In early of 2008 I came across a group of people who called themselves Real Life Super Heroes, or RLSH. I was intrigued by this movement. I've always been interested in saving the world and here were guys and girls actually doing something, albeit in a rather odd way. So I contacted a few of these guys and after a few conversations I was granted a series of interviews. First up was Anax, think Jason Vorhees and Snake Eyes having an illegitimate baby but with a really good sense of humor. He provided me with a lot of insight into the why RLSH do what they do. Next up was Superhero, think a boy scout in really tight pants with a cape and a Corvette. Supes was great and had the best story. Out of all of them I totally enjoyed speaking with him the most. The final interview of my triluxe special was with Master Legend. Now this was a good 7 months before he reached rock star status with his massive spread in Rolling Stone but the article was well written and the general consensus was that the three stories together combined for the best press the RLSH community had received at the time. As a token of appreciation I was made an honorary super hero with my very own mask. Which is awesome because as a super hero I am allowed to wear tights without fear of ridicule, I am allowed wear a mask in public on days other than Halloween, and I am allowed to dispense justice at the end of my fist without worry of collateral damage.

And that is the official-for-now story. Sure it is not as exciting as the unofficial-for-now story but you get the idea. Good times.